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Virginia (Jones) Klinsick
Wyandotte High School - Class of 1941
In Loving Memory.
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Virginia Ruth Klinsick was my mother and she attended Wyandotte High School. By looking at her yearbooks she seemed to have a lot of friends. She sang in the choirs at school and church and I have a newspaper clipping from the Kansas City Kansan dated Nov 17 1940 which shows her and three other girls that formed her girl's quartet-the "Sharp Notes". It mentioned that they would have a lead part in the school's Operetta "Paul Bunyan's Daughter" co-authored by the Dean of Voice Music, Miss Gwendolyn Rushton and Robert Shannon, English teacher. The other three girls are listed as Jacquelyn Anderton, 1520 Haskell, Julie Lou May, 330 North Seventeenth and Dorothy Hall, 1813 North Tenth.
Virginia Klinsick married my father, Walter Llewellyn Jones on Feb 15 1941 just before her high school graduation, so her diploma had her maiden name on it. Walt was serving during WWII and the Korean Conflict in the US Air Force as an Officer. They traveled with their daughter, Cheryl Lynn (born Aug 31, 1944) and son, Kenton Dean (born Dec 26, 1952) to Newfoundland where he was stationed. There, on Dec 11, 1955, son number 2 was born; Derek Lane Jones. Later they moved to San Diego, CA where I, Kandy Sue Jones was born on Nov. 6, 1958. We all lived in El Cajon, CA until about 1962. Walt and Virginia decided to move up to San Marcos, CA where they wanted to build their own house. Virginia had designed a beautiful two-story home for the family at 1176 Montura Rd in San Marcos, CA but they lived there only a few short years before Walt and Virginia divorced in 1966.
As I recall, Walt, though sentimental and sweet had a very dominating side and could dress you down in a very loud and public way, making you want to just crawl under a rock to get away from him. After years of this Virginia sought marriage counseling from their pastor, but Walt refused to go because "there was nothing wrong with HIM." Feeling she just couldn't get through to him anymore Virginia began to feel undervalued as a wife and mother of four.
Virginia had her hands quite full with the kids and to make things more difficult for her, Walt began to spend extended periods of time AND money away up in Malibu, CA with his sister Corene and her husband. They were working on a "Get Rich Quick Scheme" as mother put it, and soon things began to fall apart back at home, including having the water or electricity turned off due to unpaid bills. Mom had gone back to work just so she could have a little money to call her own but Walt insisted she turn over her paychecks to him so she never had much of an "allowance". While she was working her second part-time job as a clothes horse (Boutique model)the man who gave her the job became quite interested in her and eventually started to pursue her. He convinced her that if she divorced Walt, he would marry her and take care of everyone. Virginia, weary from years of fighting and disappointment, now found herself with an adoring fan waiting in the wings, promising her the moon and she began to feel this perceived happiness was actually something she deserved. Because Walt had refused to even talk about their problems, Virginia eventually told Walt she wanted a divorce. I was there the night she did it.
It's too personal to talk about, but I can say it was a very sad moment. I will never forget it nor the look on both their faces and the sound of their voices. It was also a stupid mistake, on both their parts, as most divorces are.
As soon as their divorce became final Virginia married the man who, I can honestly say, was responsible for the breakup of my parent's marriage. Oh the breakdown of Virginia and Walt's marriage was completely their own fault, but without that man's interference my parents would have had more time to work on things, together. As it turned out, that man was NOT the knight in shinning armor he portrayed himself to be but an abusive man who caused terrible pain and emotional burdens so great it damaged Virginia's relationship with her children forever. Because of that Virginia suffered from guilt and depression all the rest of her life yet still remained married to the one who was responsible for the worst of it, too ashamed to admit to anyone that she had made a terrible mistake. That weakness was the very thing that caused the final blow to our own mother-daughter relationship. When I had grown up and become a mother myself, I finally knew what real love was and how totally profound the love a mother can have for her child can be. It was then that the selfish weak-hearted choices my mother had made in the past just to save face had shown me clearly just how little she regarded me, and at a time when I needed her strength and protection the most. She had abandoned her first priority, not once but many times and I, now a new mother myself, could no longer make excuses for her choices. I now knew what it was to have and love a child, and what she had put me through didn't look anything like what I was feeling the day my first child was born. I had experienced a new definition for mother and child, and I will be forever grateful that God revealed it to me, not just once but again and again through the births of each of my four children! I can forgive her for her weakness because she was human, and I can still love her because she was the beautiful, talented and humorous woman I was given to call my mom, but I can not say she filled my life with peace, love or security because instead she left a painful wound in my heart to contend with all the days of my life and that's a terrible shame. Virginia was born to be a dynamic wife and wonderful mother. She had everything it would take, almost.
After years of stress from living a life that was always overshadowed by her guilt-reddened mind and lonely heart, she fell victim to Alzheimer’s, the very thing she dreaded the most and had prayed to God to protect her from. “Anything but my mind.” she would tell me, but her prayers were not answered the way that she wanted them to be. She suffered so much during those two years and because it’s a death that everyone knows is coming, each day was a source of sorrow for her and especially for me. I was the one child of hers that stayed within close proximity of her home after I grew up and got married, so I was always the one adult child who was responsible for everything relating to her health and happiness. With our relationship as strained as it was, you can imagine how difficult and heart wrenching it was me to have to face going through this horrible ordeal with her. But I wasn’t going to let a rotten childhood get in the way of doing my duty as a Christian daughter so I took a deep breath and dove right in. It was extremely hard and I cried every day for two years but I knew her soul knew I was there and it’s her soul that’s in Heaven today. She knows that I loved her the best I could and if we only hadn’t had to go through all that painful heartbreaking turmoil, we would have had a lifetime of wonderful memories to keep with us and keep us strong. Unfortunately, after my mother sighed her last in my presence, and slipped off to heaven just hours after I had left her bedside, my own marriage dissolved before my very eyes and I found myself making some desperate choices and irrational decisions that have become my own source of guilt and stress. I guess this apple didn’t fall too far from the tree, but thankfully just far enough.
Despite my depression after her death, a miscarriage and the toll it placed on my marriage of 18 years, I won’t wallow in self-pity or let the fear of harsh judgment paralyze me. I have the dedicated desire and ability to make lemonade from those abundant lemons in my life and although there are plenty of painful memories still easily accessible , it is the beautiful and silly, the hard working and gentle characters that were uniquely my mother’s that I choose to reminisce on. I have countless photographs of my mother and display several of them along with my father’s and many of their parents and grandparents as well. Because of my fractured childhood I treasure all the childhoods and families I see in those photos of my ancestors, perhaps more deeply than if my life had been carefree. And who’s to say those ancestor’s didn’t have sorrows and hardships of their own? We all know that they did, I only wish I could have had the backup and support that they seem to have had that got them through the tough times. I was alone with mine. Knowing their stories enriches my life and helps me to take a step back when I need to in order to see the bigger picture. When I place myself within the expanded context of my extended families and ancestors, my stressors loose a little of their bite, my worries fade in comparison to the tragic or the chronic.
Not all beautiful and charming children grow up to live perfectly wonderful lives, spotless and free from sorrow and disappointment, but it’s who they touch and how they impact the world around them that matters the most. And my mother, Virginia Ruth Klinsick, brought a little joy, laughter, music and beauty everywhere she went and shared and inspired a Christian faith with all those who were open to it. I have much to be thankful to my mother for and happily take much pride in her personal accomplishments and the positive traits and talents she passed on to me. Every time I ponder over which color goes best with what, or what tree should be planted here or there, I think of my mother and what she might say. When I see my kids do some silly dance or sing a verse perfectly, I think of how much she would have enjoyed knowing them and loved how sincerely my eight year old always hugs you like she’ll never see you again. Virginia Klinsick missed out on so much potential happiness by letting go of one life to grab onto another and if that was all I ever focused on when remembering her I would miss out on all the happiness around me today. Instead I choose to remember the best. God bless my mom, Virginia Ruth Klinsick. I love her.
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